Children Thrive When Parents Are In Their Lives
Over the past few years, a national movement has taken off in many states to establish a hardened rule in the law that 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the children of divorce.
Such laws have passed recently in Arizona, Kentucky. Florida, Arkansas, Missouri, and West Virginia, with many other states – including Oklahoma – considering equal custodial time for parents, unless a proven reason is established which would dictate the split is not in the best interest of the child.
Every child deserves a happy and safe youth filled with love from their parents, and children are statistically shown to be happier and well-adjusted when they grow up with both parents active in their lives, as long as the parents uphold their responsibility to raise their children in loving homes.
In a perfect world, when children are involved, separated parents will find a way to co-parent and not allow the children to see any animosity between them. Unfortunately, far too many separated parents, men and women alike, use the court system to weaponize divorce. They drag the other parent through the costly legal system by using the child and custody issues to bankrupt the other.
This is one of the issues we frequently receive calls about at the Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy (OICA): a parent desperate to find free or pro bono counsel to help with their battle to maintain a certain level of custody with the children involved.
Unfortunately, there are very few resources out there to aid these mothers and fathers when the opposing parent has the financial ability to continually file challenges to modify the child custody time established by the family court.
While we acknowledge equal custody is not a situation which is best with every case of divorce, and sometimes one parent might abdicate their responsibility, the data clearly shows that children statistically thrive better when parents are both involved in their upbringing. In fact, under the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study, separation from a parent is one of the assessed points of toxic trauma which hurts children long-term.
Over the past three years, OICA has worked with lawmakers to see support for such a policy to become law in Oklahoma. House Bill 1082 would create a rebuttable presumption that joint legal custody, joint physical custody, and shared parenting time is most often in the best interest of the child. The measure also would specify that if clear and convincing evidence shows child abuse, domestic violence, stalking, or harassment has occurred, this would nullify equal custody.
The measure would also direct courts to issue written findings if it is determined enough evidence has been presented to rebut the presumption. Courts would appoint guardians ad litem (GAL) to assist in constructing parenting time schedules which are consistent with the best interest of the children while maximizing the optimal time parents have with their children. Of course, if one parent opts for less time, that will be considered.
More than one dozen lawmakers have signed in support of this legislation as authors or coauthors. The bill passed with bipartisan support from the House of Representatives by a 92-1 vote and the Senate Judiciary Committee with a 7-0 vote. We thank Sen. Brent Howard, R-Altus, for proposing solid amendments to the legislation which would strengthen protections for children, including the GAL language.
Senate Majority Leader Julie Daniels will hopefully schedule HB1082 for consideration by the full Oklahoma Senate before the May 7 deadline; the bill will also need one more House vote for final passage before the Legislature adjourns this year, or the bill will die.
The calls OICA has received are truly heartbreaking when parents want shared time with their children. If you have a lived experience that relates to this legislation, I strongly encourage you to contact state senators to share your story if you feel this law would help children. You can find senators’ contact information at https://oksenate.gov/senators











